Resolutions for the Rest of Us
“New Year, new me!” Shut up, Karen. If I see that on Instagram this year, I will unfollow you so fast. Unless we’re really good friends, because then I’m hoping you did it ironically?
New Years Eve is like the younger sister to the other December holidays. She’s a good-time partier full of glitter and alcohol. Just the person you need to spend time with after the long family holidays and avoiding “what are you doing with your life” questions from your judgmental extended family members. Let loose! Drink up! You’re hanging out with Eve now! But then you wake up January 1st with a massive hangover and confetti stuck to your face and it’s a wake up call. You can’t keep living like this, Eve is a psycho and I think she punched a bouncer last night. So you grab your bag, step over her passed out body on the floor (after leaving her a water and aspirin), and get out of there. On the way home you think to yourself, “Oh my god I can’t keep doing that. I have to figure my life out and get it together.” And that's when you start making resolutions.
It’s not about the “New Year, New Me” philosophy. You don’t need to fundamentally change who you are as a person unless you’re a serial killer or Donald Trump (nailed it). It’s just not realistic. The idea is to turn over a new leaf or make a commitment to better yourself in one area of your life. I think it’s also important to say that you don’t have to just make resolutions in January. Like if you decide you want to start making yourself do kick-boxing or learn to paint and it’s already March, don’t use the New Years Resolution as an excuse to wait 10 months. You can make resolutions anytime, but instead of “resolutions” I think they’re just called “decisions”.
Like most of America, I’ve rarely kept a resolution. The only one I really ever kept was in high school when I decided to stop drinking soda which I actually kept for two years until I realized I can have it, just not as much of it. Since then, I realized for me personally, that it wasn’t about making one really awesome resolution, it was about making a couple small, more reasonable ones that I could actually keep. I’d rather get through a few tiny ones than making it a quarter of the way through an insane one. So in the spirit of the new year, I’m sharing my resolutions to give you an idea for something you didn’t think of, but also to keep me accountable.
Be healthier
Literally everyone who exists makes “get in-shape” their resolution, which is why January and February are my least favorite times to go to the gym. There are too many people there and it gives me anxiety. I start back up going in February because that’s when most people give up or “get too busy to go” so I can half-jog on my treadmill in peace. I realized a few years ago that I’m just never going to be super in-shape because who I am as a person and I need to accept that, so I forever changed my resolution from “get fit” to “be healthier”, because isn’t that what it’s about anyway? Like, the goal shouldn’t be to fit into a size 2, it should be about feeling better and loving yourself. So for me this is drinking more water, eating less frozen pizza, and going to the gym at least twice a week. Just little steps that are hard enough on their own, honestly, that can make a huge impact on your physical health. Other possible steps can be going to sleep before 11pm, cutting down on alcohol, eating a salad at least once a day, cutting out bread from your diet (which I do for Lent every year and at first it’s terrible but then it’s actually super great), doing a juice cleanse, or going on a walk during your lunch break. Small steps, you guys.
Value your mental health
I wrote about my recent understanding of how I need to start valuing my mental health and what one side of that looks like here, but this is really something I need to start implementing in multiple areas of my life. People always talk about physical health, but mental health is almost more important. My grandmother passed away last year at 93 and while she had a ton of physical ailments, she was still sharp as a tack and super sassy until the day she left us. That’s my goal, to be a sassy old woman, rolling around in my electric scooter, chit-chatting about card games and dominos. The thing for me that I need to focus on this year is learning how to de-stress and remove myself from situations I know aren’t good for me. For a completely hypothetical example that is 100% made up, at work there’s a person where I legitimately feel like there is a dark storm cloud in my brain when they talk to me. I now no longer talk to that person unless it is absolutely necessary and I’ve exhausted all other options. Sometimes if I was going to ask them a question, I just Google it or make up my own answer to avoid talking to them. I’m not saying don’t do your job right, but don’t put yourself in situations you know aren’t good for you. So in addition to my relaxation methods and Saturday night bubble baths, those adult coloring books are amazing for just checking out of reality for five minutes. Seriously, they’re great. Barnes and Nobles has a ton of them and they sell markers and these really great brush markers that I got for myself because I’m 25.
Read for pleasure
I love reading, but now that I have a full-time job it’s hard to want to read when I come home. Really all I want to do when I get home from work is watch trashy reality TV while I stuff a full loaf of cheese bread into my mouth. And reading before bed is a nice way to decompress but what ends up happening is you get really into the story and then stay up reading until 2 AM, which compromises both of the above resolutions by not getting your minimum 8-hours of sleep. I’d like to be that person who can read a book a week, but unless I have no other commitments that’s probably not going to happen. So what I’m asking of myself is to just read more than I’m currently reading now. If I read a minimum of 10 books this year, I’m going to be pleased with myself. I got a ton of books for Christmas this year, so I’m going to make a pile of ones I want to have finished by the next year and try and get through one a month. The first one I’m actually already reading is Why Not Me by Mindy Kaling and even though I started in this month I’m still going to count it.
Spend responsibly
I'm going to be transparent about this one. I am lucky enough to have a full time job and my parents still help me out with a lot of things. But it only takes one time for your bank account to get to $23 for you to realize that you're spending too much. When I first got a job I was definitely a home-body because I knew I needed to save money and also because I was always tired. Now, I live in a more expensive apartment closer to my friends and I go out and we eat brunch and since I need things to wear to brunch I buy clothes. It also doesn't help that my office is the second story of an outdoor mall. The point is that I need to be more frugal because I have rent to pay. Now I'm not going to completely shut myself out from my friends and only buy generic store-brand soup for meals, but I need to be more rational. Do I need these faux leather leggings? Do I need to buy lunch today or can I eat what I have from home? Usually when I'm honest with myself I don't need anything. But I still feel the need to shop. A lot of times it's not about the actual stuff you're buying but about the act of shopping. In college I would go to Target and go through my whole shopping routine. I'd try on clothes, go through the books, put everything in my basket and when I would normally go check out, I would abandon my full cart in an aisle and speed walk out of the store. I feel bad for the people who have to put back all my items but it was the only way I could guarantee I would walk out without spending any money. This also works for online shopping but instead of putting things in a cart, I bookmark them for later. But there are always ways to find cheaper options for things you enjoy, like for me that's wine. Regardless, my goal this year is to not have to take money from my savings account to pay my water bill.
Fulfill a longtime dream
I have always wanted to learn French. In middle school when you have to pick a language to learn, I begged and begged my mom to let me sign up for French but I was forced to take Spanish because I live in Texas and it makes more sense BUT when I graduated high school and we took a trip to France I got to keep reminding my family that of if they had let me learn French in 8th grade we would know where the restrooms are located. I half-heartedly made this resolution last year but it got lost in the midst of some of my other ones. There's a free language app called Duolingo that is like Rosetta Stone but it has a cute purple bird teaching you one of like 80 languages. It's actually really great but after I learned how to ask "do we have wine?" and "can we have wine?" I stopped because want else do I need to know. But really, dreams are always going to stay dreams until you act on them. Some are more obtainable than others. I probably wouldn't try and fulfill my "go to New York Fashion Week" goal this year because I am poor and I don't think a free trip to New York is just going to fall in my lap, but we can check off some realistic ones. Dye your hair that crazy color, go one mile on a hippity-hop, kiss someone who's Portuquese, whatever you've always wanted to do. Take a hip-hop dance class, they're super fun. Just don't put your dreams on the back burner, because before you know it you'll be 60 years old trying to go skydiving and the instructor Chad is going to tell you that you're too old. In the iconic words of One Direction, tonight let's get some and live while we're young.
Give yourself some credit
Seriously. Look how far you’ve come in your life. This year was really hard. You made it through so much in the past 12 months and you’re still standing. You are so much more capable than you think you are. This year I kept a kitten alive for 10 months when every plant I’ve had died of lack of water. Don’t worry, Pickle is doing great and is now my best friend. But seriously, it’s the stuff like that where you have to take a step back from your life and go “Hey! I did that!” and give yourself a pat on the back. The next year is going to be rough. On a personal level, I’m turning 26 and I’m not emotionally or financially ready for that, so this year is going to be interesting, but if I can pay my taxes on time or make my own doctors appointments I can turn 26, right? I don’t know, maybe. We’ll see in October. But really, put things into perspective. If you told your 16 year old self that you were in grad school for something you were really passionate about, they would be so impressed. There are always going to be bumps in the road, but they make you a better driver.